Daddy, You Waste My Time

Kids. Sometimes, many times, some of the funniest things I’ve ever heard come out of their mouths. Some kids are funny because they’re trying to be and they just are. Others, while being as serious as they possibly can be, are funny because of the way they say something, or because of what they say.

My wife and I were reminded last night of one episode that happened a few years ago with our youngest child. I forget what we were talking about that lead up to us talking about it, but somehow it came up. And, as usual, it made us laugh as hard as it did the first time I told her the story and every time that we talk about it. So, I decided I should share it here and hopefully you’ll find it as funny as we do.

It happened a few years ago when our youngest was probably 7 or 8 years old. He’s usually a very up-beat kid that likes to have fun. But, at times, he can be very serious, impatient and easily frustrated. I guess this was one of those times that he ended up being the latter.

Anyway, we were at his basketball practice one night. The boys had been practicing hard for the first half of their practice, when the coach decided to give them a water break. When you’re 7 or 8, at basketball practice, the practice is Ok, but the water breaks are what you really look forward to. Because, if you don’t want to get a drink or don’t need a drink, then it’s just shoot around time and goof off time. So, as the team breaks some of the boys run to grab their basketballs to shoot during the water break. This, of course, includes my son. But, at that time a little girl happened to have picked up his basketball and was playing with it.

My son asked me to get his ball for him. But, like any good father (pay myself on the back here), I wanted to teach him to be a little self-sufficient. So I told him that he should ask the little girl to give him his basketball back. For some reason, he wouldn’t. I was surprised because normally he’s not too shy. But, this time, he decided he was going to be. He asked me again to get his ball, but I kept trying to coax him to ask her himself. We went back and forth for a little bit and then finally, he asked the little girl for the ball. I was glad he finally did it and he was happy (big grin on his face) that he had his ball. But then, disaster struck. As soon as he turned around to run out on the court to shoot around with his buddies, the coach told all the boys to put their basketballs down and huddle up. My son’s shoulders slumped over, his head dropped down, he slowly put his basketball back under the stands, and then walked back out on the court to huddle up with his team. The rest of practice, he just didn’t have the same enthusiasm, but, I didn’t think too much of it.

Once practice was over and we were leaving, I began to realize that he was being very quiet. Too quiet for him. As we drove home, the silence continued, which was strange. Usually, he would be talking about practice and all kinds of stuff. But, not tonight. So, finally I asked if something was wrong. Then from the backseat came this little boy’s sad, sad voice saying “Daddy, you waste my time”. He was as serious as he could be. I immediately realized that he felt that I wasted his time during the water break because I had made him ask for his own basketball back. We talked about it and finally everything was Ok. I didn’t dare laugh at that time, but I wanted to, badly because it sounded so funny.

After getting home and after he went to bed, I told my wife what happened. We both laughed hysterically for a quite a while and we still do to this day whenever we think of that.

“Daddy, you waste my time”.

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